Beano's Wake Up Call

I moved to Italy in August of 2002.  My parents made the trip over with me and for the two weeks before I had to report to school we toured the country I was to call home for the next year.  One of the stops along the way was Portofino.

(Portofino, Italia)

We spent the day exploring and in the afternoon stumbled upon a fabulous outdoor café.  We had a couple hours before our dinner reservation so we decided to enjoy a bottle of wine and watch the world go by.  One bottle turned in to two and the next thing you know we are friends with the owner of the café and he made us promise to come back for some limoncello after dinner.  We got to dinner and Beano decided to bet me $100 dollars that I couldn’t go the entire meal speaking only Italian to the waiter.  I don’t think Beano has ever met a bet he didn’t like, but this one was particularly ridiculous because even if I couldn’t win (which I always do ☺) most of the talking to the waiter involved using words I could read off the menu.  Needless to say, I won the bet. 

Instead of taking his money I said we should use the money on wine (it seemed like such a good idea at the time).  It should be noted that wine prices in Italy are MUCH cheaper than here in the States, and at this time the dollar was stronger than the Euro…so we were pretty successful at stretching that $100.

$100 later, after the wine with dinner and the limocello and wine we had back at the café, we decided it was time to put ourselves to bed.  During this 2 week adventure, the three of shared a hotel room everywhere we stayed.  The parents got the bed and I was usually stuck with a cot or uncomfy pullout bed.  Being that it was Europe, it was a cramped arrangement, but we made it work. 

This particular night I was on a couch just a few feet from the bed.  At around 3:00am I was awoken by the most excruciatingly obnoxious snoring EVER.  I mean it was the kind of snoring you only see in movies.  My mom is usually a pretty light sleeper so I was surprised it didn’t wake her up…I guess all the wine was to blame for that one.  At first I was annoyed but thought if I could just get my mom to nudge Beano the snoring would stop.

“MOM!!” ...nothing…”MOM!!  MOM!!  WAKE UP!!”….nothing.  My patience was wearing VERY thin.

“MOOOOOM!!!!!  SOMEBODYYYY!!!  WAKE UP!!!  MAKE IT STOOOOP!!!  MOOOOOOOOM!!”

…still nothing…

Another side note about me:  there are two ways to very quickly see a very ugly side of me 1-mess with my dog, or 2-mess with my sleep.  Unfortunately for Beano, that morning he was unknowingly testing option 2.

After what seemed like hours of yelling over the noise, trying to get my mom to help me out, I decided to take matters in to my own hands.  The fact that I was not only woken up, but now I was being forced to actually get out of bed took my anger to a whole new level.

I stormed over to Beano’s side of the bed.  I let my emotions take over and with all the strength I could muster I sucker punched Beano right in the gut!  His eyes shot open.  Terrified and confused, he couldn’t even move.  I got right up in his face and demanded he, “MAKE.  THE NOISE.  STOP!!!”  I stormed back over to my little couch, laid down, and flipped the covers back over me in a huff.

After a few minutes of complete silence Beano regained his ability to breathe.

“Katie?” he asked bewildered.
“WHAT?!?!”
“What just happened?”
“You were snoring.  Make it stop!”

I have no idea how long he laid there trying to figure out why he was just abused by his stepdaughter, grateful he didn’t have a heart attack.  But I do know that when we travel together now I always get a separate room.