A Tribute to Halloween Costumes Over the Years

Since it's Halloween, instead of a story, I have decided to showcase a few of my Halloween costumes over the years.  Enjoy!

Halloween 1986*

 

Halloween 1994*

 

Halloween 1988*

 

Halloween 2007

  

Halloween 1983*

 

Halloween 2008

 

Halloween 1992

 

Halloween 1990

 

Halloween 1984*

 

Halloween 2006

 

Halloween 1981

(This is actually my brother, I wasn't born yet, but I thought it was so darn cute that I just had to add it!)

Halloween 2009*

*these costumes were hand-made by my beautiful, loving, wonderful, endlessly talented mother...great job!! Thanks Mom!!!

Hassling the Hoff in NYC

Among others, one thing you will learn from these stories is that my mom has an incredible amount of patience, tolerance, and thank God a great sense of humor.  This next story is a perfect illustration of these traits.

I can’t remember exactly when or why, but at some point in our lives my brother and I decided that my mom had a striking resemblance to David Hasselhoff.  Yes you read that right, we think our mom looks like the Hoff.  You can’t tell me you don’t see it.

 

Anyway, one year around Christmastime the family spent a weekend in New York City.  We went to see Les Miserable one night and as we were walking out we noticed a large crowd gathered on one of the side streets.  We all went over to investigate and asked one of the bystanders what was going on.

“We’re waiting for David Hasselhoff to come out.  His play, Jekyll & Hyde, just finished.”

There was NO WAY we were leaving.  A chance to see Mom’s twin…in the flesh…don’t mind if we do!  We were standing there patiently waiting when my brother started shouting, “THERE HE IS!!  IT’S HIM!  THERE HE IS!”

Simultaneously the whole crowd starting looking back and forth for the Hoff.  But no one saw him.  Was He crazy?? (by the way I call my brother He) I turned to ask He where exactly I should be looking.  But I never got to ask. 

With his arm outstretched pointing at my mom he started shouting again, “FALSE ALARM! IT’S JUST MY MOM! SORRY ABOUT THAT! JUST MY MOM, FALSE ALARM!!”

The entire crowd turned to look.  My mom stood frozen; a deer in the headlights.  The remaining four of us keeled over in hysterics.

After about a full minute spent frozen, she came back to life, looked at my brother, “CHRIS! What is WRONG with you?!?”  and walked away.

Apparently you CAN hassle the Hoff!!

(Sorry Mom, I know I said you could proofread any story about you, but I couldn’t risk you saying no to this one ☺  LOVE YOU!!)

Falling into a New Family

Thanksgiving and Christmas are my two favorite holidays.  I mean what’s not to love about Thanksgiving??  It’s a holiday that celebrates food, football, and family!  Christmas is a no-brainer; I love everything about that time of year.   The year I lived in Italy I didn’t come back to the states at all.  So the month from Turkey Day to Baby Jesus’ birthday I was pretty homesick.

During a break in class, a bunch of us were hanging out in the school cafeteria and I mentioned that I didn’t know how I was going to handle a Christmas without family OR snow.  Then out of nowhere one of the girls at the table, Ashley, said that her whole family was flying out to Germany for the holiday; I could tag along if I wanted to (very dangerous thing to say to me…I almost NEVER say no to an opportunity to travel!).  Ashley just offered me everything on my Xmas list…family and snow…of course I said yes!

It’s important to understand my relationship with Ashley at this point.  We had been going to school together for over three months but we hadn’t ever really hung out.  We had done a lot of group things together, but never connected just the two of us.  Which made it even nicer that she offered to include me in her family holiday…and even weirder that I accepted.

Upon hearing that I was joining the festivities, Ashley’s younger sister, Alex, was livid…and rightfully so.  She didn’t understand why Ashley was bringing some girl to Christmas; a girl that Ashley had never once mentioned in any of her stories.  Before I even arrived I was “the random girl who ruined their only time together all year”.  Oh and I should also mention that Ashley and I flew to Germany separately.  Of course she had major delays so I took a cab by myself to the hotel to meet the family for the first time.  And as luck would have it, my arrival forced Alex to wake up from her nap.  I was off to a great start.

So now that we’ve established that I hardly know Ashley, her sister hates me, and we’re all together in the little town of Garmisch, Germany, lets fast-forward to Christmas Day.

Ashley, Alex and I spent all of Christmas Day skiing.  We got back to the hotel around 4:00pm.  Since we were exhausted and we didn’t have to meet for dinner until 7:15, we all decided to take naps.  Ashley set her alarm for 6:00.  She took the longest to get ready, so after she showered she was going to wake the two of us up.  Before she knew it, Ashley checked her watch and it was 7:00pm; Alex and I were still fast asleep.  Frantically Ashley woke us up.  We decided there was no avoiding showering, we couldn’t possibly show up to Christmas dinner covered in sleep and ski funk; we had to act fast. 

(Alex, me, Ashley...top O the mountain)

Our masterminds devised a plan.  Alex had three minutes to shower.  During those three minutes I was to get both our outfits laid out and get myself ready to jump in one side of the shower as she jumped out the other (the shower was one of those bathtub showers with two sliding doors, so it was perfect for creating an entrance and an exit).  With time running out, Ashley started yelling at me to get ready.  I quickly stripped down, anxiously awaiting my cue.

Alex started yelling, “GET READY! GET READY!”  Ashley was cheering us on, “GO! GO! GO!”, I joined the party, “I’M READY! LETS GO!”  With all the excitement and yelling I think I was a little too eager to jump.  When it was go time, I hopped in with my left foot.  Since I had just woken up 4 minutes prior I hadn’t yet put my contacts in, so I failed to notice that the back of the tub (right where I planted my left foot) was slanted.  So as I went to bring my right foot in…BAM!! The laws of physics took over and I slammed down on to the side of the tub…the side with the metal track for the door...right down the middle of me…bare a$$ naked!!  I frantically tried to lift myself up but the stupid tub was so wet and slippery that I just kept flopping around…straddling the bathtub…still naked.  Alex and Ashley just stood there perplexed…staring at my bare bum.

“Do we touch her??” Alex asked.  One hardly knew me, one hated me…which one should help?  Eventually I calmed down enough to figure out how to pick myself up and properly get in the shower.  At this point I’m pretty sure the girls still hadn’t moved.

“Are you okay??” 
Nothing game out of my mouth for the next hour except uncontrollable, embarrassed laughter.  Realizing I wasn’t really hurt, Ashley and Alex felt comfortable enough to laugh at me as well.

After that my relationship with the Webers changed forever.  To this day Ashley is one of my very best friends and Alex like my little sister.  We went from strangers to family in one quick instant.  We’ve even spent other Christmases together since then…but I kept my clothes on for those.

The Wild, Wild East

My freshman year of college my friend Lauren and I wanted to go somewhere together for spring break. But unfortunately since we were at two different schools our spring breaks didn’t coincide. So instead she came out east for a few days. While she was here we spent a few nights at my parent’s house in New Hampshire.

A little background on my parent’s house…it’s a gorgeous house that sits on 10 acres of land, most of which is woods. The house is very old and they have since redone every room. But at the time of this story my bedroom had yet to be ‘fixed up’ and the window, which faced the woods, wasn’t sealed very well and had a hole in the screen. This hole was my nemesis; it let all sorts of bugs in during the summer. I do not do well bugs, I was raised a city girl.

(my parent's house)

Anyway, back to the story.

So Lauren’s last night in town we both slept in my double bed. At about 3:30am I woke up because I felt something moving on my back. I slowly looked over my shoulder and found myself face to face with a black cat!

As quickly as I could, I flipped back on to my stomach and tried to stealthily wake up Lauren without disrupting the feline, “LAUREN!! LAUREN!!” I felt her starting to wake up and continued my campaign. “LAUREN! LAUREN! WAKE UP!” She sleepily replied, “whaat?”

“what. is. on. my. back.”
“What?”

“what. is. on. my. back.”
How she answered the question this time is up for debate. In hindsight it does make more sense that she said “what?”, but at 3:30am with a cat on my back the answer I heard was, “CAT!” With that confirmation I sprinted out of the room as fast as I possibly could and burst in to my parent’s room down the hall.

“MOM! WAKE UP!! THERE’S A CAT IN MY ROOM!”

Terrified, my mom shot up out of bed. As I frantically explained the situation to her, Lauren, like any trusting friend, figured if I just sprinted out of the room at full speed there must be a good reason. Beyond confused, she ran into the hall to see what was going on and was greeted with my demands, “Close the door!! Trap it in there!!!” Again, Lauren trustingly obliged, albeit still very confused.

Realizing I was seriously freaking out, my mom got up to search my room for the cat that “came in through the hole in the screen”; I remained safely in my parent’s room. My stepdad rolled over and mumbled, “What’s going on?” I told him there was a wild cat in my room and I could still feel where it had been standing on my back. He simply said, “ah whatevah,” rolled over and went back to sleep. Thanks for the concern Beano!

Shockingly the search was inconclusive. Lauren and I were told to sleep downstairs in the guest room until the search could continue at a more reasonable hour.

By the time we got down there we realized that the “cat” was actually Lauren just rolling into me in her sleep. Even still, we figured it was safer to spend the night in the guest room…just in case.

After that, redoing my room got moved up a little on the To Do List (at least fixing the window did). And Lauren and I made sure there was always PLENTY of room between us when we shared a bed.

I Found My Calling at the Airport

This next story isn’t quite as action packed as the last one.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still entertaining, but its purpose is more to explain “where it all began”.  At a very young age I fell in love with traveling.  As the years went by it turned in to an addiction.  That and the fact that I have never (and I mean EVER) gone to the airport and NOT had something bizarre happen means that a good portion of my stories involve traveling.  This next story just goes to show that this is not a recent phenomenon; it’s something I’ve been dealing with my entire life.

My mom has always traveled for work and every chance she had she would let me tag along with her; clearly she is to blame for my addiction.  During one such trip she and I were flying out of Chicago’s Midway airport.  I believe I was only about 11 or 12 years old, I mean this was way back when Midway was only two hallways with one security line; so it had to be forever ago.  Anyway, her and I were on our way to the gate when we passed a ringing payphone (this was pre cell phone days so it was still widely accepted to use payphones).  The ringing stopped me in my tracks.   It couldn’t have been a coincidence that the phone started ringing RIGHT as I walked by, so I felt I owed it to the person on the other line to answer. Without alerting my mom of the change in plans I walked over and answered the phone.

 ("me" on the phone)

Me:  Hello?
Person on the phone (we will call her Betty):  Hello?? Kathy??
Me: Um no.  This is Caitlin.
Betty:  Well is Kathy there?
Me:  No.  Well I don’t think so.  I was just walking by this phone when it rang.  So I answered it.
Betty:  Well I’m looking for Kathy and Joe.  Would you be able to tell me if they are there?
Me:  You know you called a payphone at Midway airport, right?
Betty:  Yeah.  Kathy said to call this number back.

Even though I informed her that her friends were nowhere to be found, Betty continued to describe them to me.  I felt bad and figured I’d already come this far, it wouldn’t hurt to quickly check the nearby gates. At this point my mom’s patience was running out.  With a confused look on her face she walked over to me and asked, “WHAT are you doing?!?” 

What did it look like I was doing?!?  Clearly I was looking for Kathy (about 40 yrs old, medium height, brown hair, pink t-shirt) and Joe (younger guy, 6 foot, blonde hair, black Star Wars t-shirt).  After realizing I wasn’t kidding, my mom reminded me we had a flight to catch and I didn’t really have time to be assisting the random woman who called an airport payphone.

So I let Betty know that she was out of luck and I really had to go.  I suggested having them paged; which she interpreted as me paging them while she held.  So I explained how the paging process works and no, I don’t know the phone number to the airlines but I bet the yellow pages could tell you.  Finally I hung up and my mom and I continued towards our gate. 

As we were discussing and laughing about the whole phone incident we passed something that made me, once again, stop in my tracks.  A 40-something woman with brown hair, medium height and a pink t-shirt was saying goodbye to a 6-ft tall man in a black Star Wars t-shirt that was boarding the plane (this was also back when you could go to the gates even if you weren’t flying).  I went over and tapped her on the shoulder, “Excuse me, are you Kathy?”  She looked at me very confused and answered, “Yes.  Do I know you?”

“No.  But I answered a phone a while ago and Betty is looking for you.  I don’t know if it’s important or not,” I proudly announced.  This news delighted her.  She started screaming down the jetway at Joe to get him to turn back.  He walked back out with a terrified look on his face.  “Joe, this is the girl who answered the phone!  She’s the one who talked to Betty!!” she shrieked.  He was clearly not impressed.  He gave me a thumbs up and headed back towards the plane.  Kathy let me know that she was able to get a hold of Betty but thanked me for trying to help.  Pleased with my good deed, I ran back and caught up to my mom.  All she could do was shake her head and say, “only you.  Can’t take you anywhere.”

If only she knew then how true that statement was!

Starting Off With A Bang

Choosing which story to begin with was very difficult for me, I have so many favorites.  So I took the advice of Jack McCoy (“When there’s no good place to start, start somewhere”) and I’m just starting somewhere.  And yes, I am referring to Jack McCoy from Law & Order. 

One summer in college I was shopping the Kittery Outlet stores in Maine with my stepsister Kalyn.  There must have been a lot of sales going on because we hit almost every one of the 120 stores; it was a long day.  Towards the end of the day we found ourselves at the Espirit outlet (which I believe has now gone out of business, Espirit is SO 8 years ago!)  I was at the point where I couldn’t spend another minute in a store, but Kalyn had found just a few more things she couldn’t live without.  So as she was waiting in the Christmastime-esque lines I waited at the front of the store with all the husbands and boyfriends who were feeling my pain.  Waiting is something I loathe, so as I stood there (none of the guys sitting on the benches offered me their seats…thank you chivalry) I looked around trying to find something to occupy my time.  And that’s when I saw it…right in the exit doorway, a 2-ft high stack of metal basket, just asking to be leapt over.

(not actual Espirit baskets)

Before showcasing my Knievel-like skills I wanted to make sure I had an audience, I mean who am I to deprive anyone of such a spectacle of extreme athleticism?!?  So across the many check out aisles and waiting boyfriends/husbands I screamed, “KALYN!! KALYN!! WATCH THIS!!”  The look on her face was the same confused yet curious look I was getting from all my onlookers, although I sensed a little embarrassment as well.  Now that I had my audience, I was ready.  I turned towards the doorway and took off.  After a few quick steps I leapt into the air, proudly soaring above the baskets.

And that’s when it happened.  All at once.  I heard a loud bang, felt a shooting pain in my right knee, heard gasps, heard laughter.  It took me a few seconds to figure out how I ended up IN the baskets and not triumphantly standing BESIDE them.  Apparently while planning this brilliant feat I failed to notice the baskets weren’t in fact in the doorway, but neatly stacked in front of a glass wall!  (What are the chances?!?)

I quickly untangled myself from the baskets and ran outside where I waited for Kalyn alone, laughing hysterically.  I never went back in to at least let people know I was ok or take a bow, but Kalyn and I did end up back at Espirit a few weeks later to return one of her purchases.  And wouldn’t you know, someone had added a bunch of black stickers to that glass wall.  I bet those stickers prevented many people from an embarrassing encounter with that glass.  So to all those people I say, “You’re Welcome!”

In A Nutshell

I thought it might be beneficial for a quick background on me before diving right in to the storytelling.  I was born and raised in Illinois (except for 3 years spent in Florida that I remember very little of…thankfully).  I graduated from Naperville Central High School then moved east to attend the University of Massachusetts.  My Junior year I lived abroad and studied in Torino, Italy (spending a year abroad is something I recommend to EVERYONE if they have the opportunity).  I spent my summers at my mom and stepdad’s house in New Hampshire.  After graduating in 2004 I followed my stepsister out to Aspen, Colorado. The plan was to spend the summer there waiting tables, saving up money before I searched for a grown up job in the fall.  Four years later I finally decided to rejoin the real world.  And that’s where I’ve been for the last 18 months.  I currently live in Brighton, Massachusetts in the condo I bought last spring.  I love my condo, it’s my favorite place to be.  Although between all the traveling I do for my job as a Regional Sales Manager for StyleMark and the personal trips I plan, I don’t have much time at home. 

That’s my background in a very thin nutshell.  You’ll have to check back to learn what makes up the rest of this nut!

(me in a "nutshell")

And one more thing I feel I should point out...although the majority of the stories featured in this blog are going to make me seem like a complete space cadet, for the most part I do have my sh*t together.  It's just those moments that I don't that make life so darn entertaining!!

Welcome to My World!

My whole life I’ve always been a storyteller.  It’s a trait, among others, I inherited from my Grandfather. Whether my stories can be classified as “good” or “entertaining” is of course relative, and more often than not I find my standards are lower than most.  But regardless, I still tell the stories.  I do this for three main reasons, (1) I find each and every one of them hilariously entertaining, (2) I swear the oddest things happen to me while I’m wandering this world alone, and (3) I love laughing and love making others laugh...at the very least, smile ☺

On multiple occasions people have told me that I should write my stories down; either because they really think the stories are interesting or because they want me to stop talking and go do a silent activity.  Either way, those suggestions are what inspired this blog, a compilation of all the stories I love to tell.  To all you readers (which is probably just my mom and Katie) I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I enjoy telling and reliving them…although I doubt it’s possible!!