Jingling All the Way...

This year's festivities followed a similar story to the previous year's.  And I think we look just as good!!  The pictures speak for themselves...

 

  

 

 

 

The night before was pretty fabulous as well...

 

 

And people wonder why I love the holidays so much!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

There are two things you may have learned about me by this point, 1-I LOVE Christmas and 2-I LOVE hanging out with my family.  This story is a perfect illustration of why these two things are true.

After four years of spending Christmas away from my family working in Colorado, December of 2007 I was finally home again.  However, things didn’t go quite as I had planned.  My mom informed me that we would be spending Christmas Day in Florida with my grandparents.  I was fine with that plan, and quite excited for the whole family to be together again, but I couldn’t help feeling sad that we wouldn’t have a white Christmas (I mean we went golfing on Xmas day…that’s just not right!).  So my mom promised that once we got back to New Hampshire we could have another Christmas; one complete with snow, a fire in the fireplace, and a few falls on the ice from Beano.

On the morning of December 28th, my mom and stepdad (Beano) were in the kitchen having breakfast when Beano asked, “Do we have to dress up for Christmas dinner tonight?”  My mom (for some unknown reason) was appalled by this, “Are you serious?  In the ten years we’ve had Christmas dinner together, have we ever ONCE had to dress up?!?”

“Ahh whatevah,” Beano grumbled.  Still upset by his absurdity, my mom went upstairs and burst in to my bedroom where my sister and I were sleeping.

“Guess what Beano just asked me!” she exclaimed, and proceeded to explain the whole incident.  To which I replied, “You mean dress up in costumes?”  Well that comment got us going back and forth about how funny it would be if we all dressed up in costumes and next thing you know we’ve come up with the most brilliant plan.  The three of us decided we would go to the Good Will and look for the most ridiculous ‘dress up’ outfits we could find and they would be the required attire for Christmas dinner that year.  We got my brother in on the plan as well. 

When it was time to eat, the four of us said, “OK Beano, we’re going to go get dressed up now.”  As we paraded up the stairs he stayed put in his chair saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”  He had no idea how pretty we were getting upstairs...

 Once we were as pretty as we could possibly get, we paraded back down to show off our threads.

"What the hell are you guys wearing?!?!" was his response.

"You said you wanted to dress up for dinner.  So we got out our prettiest outfits.  Don't worry, we have one for you too."

We all expected resistance from Beano, but he was surprisingly excited to wear his fancy new Christmas digs.

We actually had quite the photo shoot that night....

 

 

 

And I'm fairly certain we completely embarrassed the dog...

 

We actually wore the outfits all through dinner and then some...

 

 

Who knows what this year will bring.....

A Smashing Good Trick

On weekdays during my senior year of high school, bedtime was usually around 10:00pm.  One particular evening as the clock approached the 22nd hour, I found myself alone in my bedroom nowhere near ready to fall asleep.  Some people in this situation would read a book or watch TV to wind down.  Not me.  I used this extra energy to create an amazingly awesome trick.

For those of you that have never been to my childhood bedroom, it was very small.  I had a twin bed that was flush against the wall, bookshelves and a desk lining the other walls, and that’s about all that fit.

(This is not my actual bedroom. I couldn’t find a good picture to use but felt an image was necessary. I actually have no idea whose bedroom this is.)

The trick went as follows…

The bed was made.  I turned down the corner of the sheets that was closest to the wall.  I stepped back to the other side of the room (which was only about 6 feet).  Then I took a few quick steps.  Once I got right next to the bed I launched myself in to the air.  As I hovered above the bed I grabbed the turned down sheet corner and with cat-like speed I did a 180 turn; landing on my back, tucked in between the sheets.  Awesome.

I was so proud of myself for not only thinking up such a great trick but for also making it a reality.  And I was shockingly successful at sticking the landing.

After about 30 minutes of doing my trick over and over, my mom stopped by to say goodnight.

“Oh good!!  I was hoping you were coming up.  I have an awesome new trick to show you.  I’ve been practicing for like ever.  I’m really good at it now.”

Her mouth said, “A trick??” but her face said, “Oh great! What now?!?!”

Now that I had an audience my awesomeness was under a lot more pressure.  So when I ran, I ran a little harder.  When I launched myself in to the air, I launched a little harder.  And when I went to grab the sheets…BAM!!!

It took me a second to realize why I was lying on top of the sheets and not proudly tucked between them; that instead of doing a 180 I had just body slammed myself in to the wall.

With the exact same look on her face my mom simply said, “Neat trick Katie” and walked away. 

She eventually did come back to see if the noise she was hearing was sobbing or uncontrollable giggling.  It was the latter of the two.  I suspect she spent that night lying in bed thinking about how proud she was of her brilliant baby girl…either that or wondering where she went wrong!

One Fatal Flush

While living in Aspen I worked at the Mexican restaurant La Cantina.  That job will most likely go down as one of my best jobs ever.  Not only were the money and the atmosphere phenomenal, but the friendships I made with my coworkers are the kind that will last a lifetime.  Over my almost four years on the payroll I saw a lot of people come and go; but throughout there was a core group of us that remained as close as family.  To this day I still consider them as such, even though we are currently spread out across the country.  Darren was (and is) the fearless leader of this family, the Mama Pata if you will.  He was the kind of boss/friend that I told EVERYTHING to and often turned to for advice.

So now that I’ve given a brief background, on with the story…

My usual shift started at 3:30pm.  Often times I would be doing something around town during the day then just head in to work a little early and get ready there.  The restrooms at Cantina are located downstairs, but there is one single handicapped bathroom upstairs located near the entrance to the kitchen.  At some point it was determined that this was the “employee bathroom”.   It was here that I always changed and got ready for my shift, this day was no different.

Before changing my shirt, I took the sunglasses that are always resting on top of my head and hooked them in to my pocket so they wouldn’t fall.  My memory doesn’t allow me to recall exactly what led up to this, but somewhere during my “getting ready” those sunglasses somehow flew out of my pocket and landed with a splash right in to the toilet.

I had not used the toilet while in there so the glasses were just sitting in plain old toilet water.  Any normal human being would have just reached in, grabbed them out, rinsed them off and gone on with their lives as if nothing happened.  If I were normal, and if that’s how this story went, then it probably wouldn’t be on this blog now would it?

I went for option B.  I bolted out of the bathroom in search of Darren.  The restaurant was fairly empty at that time of day so I expected to find him just standing there wiping menus, ready to save the day.  Instead I found him talking to some customers about who knows what.  The customers’ backs were to me so I tried my best to get in Darren’s line of sight and get his attention.  I kept giving him my “It’s important, I need you” look.  I’m pretty sure he interpreted it as my “I have something really funny to tell you and I can’t wait” look and ignored me. 

After what seemed like forever, Darren ended his conversation and walked over towards me. 

“D!  I need your help!  I know this is going to sound REALLY weird, but I need you to come to the bathroom with me and see what I did,” I explained.  Surprisingly, he didn’t question me and the two of us went to investigate.

I pulled the door handle only to discover it was locked.  NOOO!!  I immediately realized that the woman who had been sitting at table 4 just 30 seconds ago had somehow snuck by me and was in the bathroom.

“Smiles, what is going on?” Darren asked.  I led him around the corner and explained what had happened. 

“Why didn’t you just take them out?”
“Because I came looking for you instead!”  DUH!

As soon as Table 4 lady exited, we both rushed in to assess the damage.  We were greeted with an empty toilet bowl.  It seemed as though the glasses were flushed with ease.  Since there didn’t appear to be any clogging, we assumed all was right with the world again; I giggled, Darren shook his head saying, “oooh Smiley, Smiley, Smiley.  You crazy.”  And we moved on with our lives.

The next day I had off so I went down valley to do some shopping.  Early afternoon I received a phone call from the manager on duty at Cantina.  He was calling to inform me that because of my sunglass flushing incident the toilet in the employee bathroom was overflowing and flooding the area.  Apparently one of the other employees on duty hadn’t heard about the incident and used the facilities to go #2.  The combination of her actions with my sunglasses caused a blockage in the pipes and thus the overflowing.  The manager said it was severe enough a problem that a plumber was called; he just thought I should be aware since I was partly to blame.  It didn’t sound too serious and a plumber was on his way, so again, I figured all was right with the world and I went on with my day. 

A few hours later I got a call from Darren, “You need to get in here.”  He didn’t sound his normal chipper self, and he didn’t call me by my nickname…this can’t be good.

Upon arriving back at Cantina I was greeted by a straight-faced Darren, “Come with me.  I want you to see what you’ve caused.”  Apparently the clog from earlier in the day required the plumber to snake the drain.  When the snake met the sunglasses in the drain it caused the device to jerk back.  The backlash of the jerk did this…

Oops!!

Thankfully this incident wasn’t what ended my Cantina career.  I don’t know what it was that made Darren show mercy on me for this very expensive mistake.  Perhaps it was because a family’s love is unconditional, you stick together through thick and thin.  Or perhaps it was because he figured keeping me around was the best way to get repaid.  Whatever it was, I’m grateful for it.  It would have been quite the shame if I had lost that job to one fatal flush!

Beano's Wake Up Call

I moved to Italy in August of 2002.  My parents made the trip over with me and for the two weeks before I had to report to school we toured the country I was to call home for the next year.  One of the stops along the way was Portofino.

(Portofino, Italia)

We spent the day exploring and in the afternoon stumbled upon a fabulous outdoor café.  We had a couple hours before our dinner reservation so we decided to enjoy a bottle of wine and watch the world go by.  One bottle turned in to two and the next thing you know we are friends with the owner of the café and he made us promise to come back for some limoncello after dinner.  We got to dinner and Beano decided to bet me $100 dollars that I couldn’t go the entire meal speaking only Italian to the waiter.  I don’t think Beano has ever met a bet he didn’t like, but this one was particularly ridiculous because even if I couldn’t win (which I always do ☺) most of the talking to the waiter involved using words I could read off the menu.  Needless to say, I won the bet. 

Instead of taking his money I said we should use the money on wine (it seemed like such a good idea at the time).  It should be noted that wine prices in Italy are MUCH cheaper than here in the States, and at this time the dollar was stronger than the Euro…so we were pretty successful at stretching that $100.

$100 later, after the wine with dinner and the limocello and wine we had back at the café, we decided it was time to put ourselves to bed.  During this 2 week adventure, the three of shared a hotel room everywhere we stayed.  The parents got the bed and I was usually stuck with a cot or uncomfy pullout bed.  Being that it was Europe, it was a cramped arrangement, but we made it work. 

This particular night I was on a couch just a few feet from the bed.  At around 3:00am I was awoken by the most excruciatingly obnoxious snoring EVER.  I mean it was the kind of snoring you only see in movies.  My mom is usually a pretty light sleeper so I was surprised it didn’t wake her up…I guess all the wine was to blame for that one.  At first I was annoyed but thought if I could just get my mom to nudge Beano the snoring would stop.

“MOM!!” ...nothing…”MOM!!  MOM!!  WAKE UP!!”….nothing.  My patience was wearing VERY thin.

“MOOOOOM!!!!!  SOMEBODYYYY!!!  WAKE UP!!!  MAKE IT STOOOOP!!!  MOOOOOOOOM!!”

…still nothing…

Another side note about me:  there are two ways to very quickly see a very ugly side of me 1-mess with my dog, or 2-mess with my sleep.  Unfortunately for Beano, that morning he was unknowingly testing option 2.

After what seemed like hours of yelling over the noise, trying to get my mom to help me out, I decided to take matters in to my own hands.  The fact that I was not only woken up, but now I was being forced to actually get out of bed took my anger to a whole new level.

I stormed over to Beano’s side of the bed.  I let my emotions take over and with all the strength I could muster I sucker punched Beano right in the gut!  His eyes shot open.  Terrified and confused, he couldn’t even move.  I got right up in his face and demanded he, “MAKE.  THE NOISE.  STOP!!!”  I stormed back over to my little couch, laid down, and flipped the covers back over me in a huff.

After a few minutes of complete silence Beano regained his ability to breathe.

“Katie?” he asked bewildered.
“WHAT?!?!”
“What just happened?”
“You were snoring.  Make it stop!”

I have no idea how long he laid there trying to figure out why he was just abused by his stepdaughter, grateful he didn’t have a heart attack.  But I do know that when we travel together now I always get a separate room.

Hassling the Hoff in NYC

Among others, one thing you will learn from these stories is that my mom has an incredible amount of patience, tolerance, and thank God a great sense of humor.  This next story is a perfect illustration of these traits.

I can’t remember exactly when or why, but at some point in our lives my brother and I decided that my mom had a striking resemblance to David Hasselhoff.  Yes you read that right, we think our mom looks like the Hoff.  You can’t tell me you don’t see it.

 

Anyway, one year around Christmastime the family spent a weekend in New York City.  We went to see Les Miserable one night and as we were walking out we noticed a large crowd gathered on one of the side streets.  We all went over to investigate and asked one of the bystanders what was going on.

“We’re waiting for David Hasselhoff to come out.  His play, Jekyll & Hyde, just finished.”

There was NO WAY we were leaving.  A chance to see Mom’s twin…in the flesh…don’t mind if we do!  We were standing there patiently waiting when my brother started shouting, “THERE HE IS!!  IT’S HIM!  THERE HE IS!”

Simultaneously the whole crowd starting looking back and forth for the Hoff.  But no one saw him.  Was He crazy?? (by the way I call my brother He) I turned to ask He where exactly I should be looking.  But I never got to ask. 

With his arm outstretched pointing at my mom he started shouting again, “FALSE ALARM! IT’S JUST MY MOM! SORRY ABOUT THAT! JUST MY MOM, FALSE ALARM!!”

The entire crowd turned to look.  My mom stood frozen; a deer in the headlights.  The remaining four of us keeled over in hysterics.

After about a full minute spent frozen, she came back to life, looked at my brother, “CHRIS! What is WRONG with you?!?”  and walked away.

Apparently you CAN hassle the Hoff!!

(Sorry Mom, I know I said you could proofread any story about you, but I couldn’t risk you saying no to this one ☺  LOVE YOU!!)

Falling into a New Family

Thanksgiving and Christmas are my two favorite holidays.  I mean what’s not to love about Thanksgiving??  It’s a holiday that celebrates food, football, and family!  Christmas is a no-brainer; I love everything about that time of year.   The year I lived in Italy I didn’t come back to the states at all.  So the month from Turkey Day to Baby Jesus’ birthday I was pretty homesick.

During a break in class, a bunch of us were hanging out in the school cafeteria and I mentioned that I didn’t know how I was going to handle a Christmas without family OR snow.  Then out of nowhere one of the girls at the table, Ashley, said that her whole family was flying out to Germany for the holiday; I could tag along if I wanted to (very dangerous thing to say to me…I almost NEVER say no to an opportunity to travel!).  Ashley just offered me everything on my Xmas list…family and snow…of course I said yes!

It’s important to understand my relationship with Ashley at this point.  We had been going to school together for over three months but we hadn’t ever really hung out.  We had done a lot of group things together, but never connected just the two of us.  Which made it even nicer that she offered to include me in her family holiday…and even weirder that I accepted.

Upon hearing that I was joining the festivities, Ashley’s younger sister, Alex, was livid…and rightfully so.  She didn’t understand why Ashley was bringing some girl to Christmas; a girl that Ashley had never once mentioned in any of her stories.  Before I even arrived I was “the random girl who ruined their only time together all year”.  Oh and I should also mention that Ashley and I flew to Germany separately.  Of course she had major delays so I took a cab by myself to the hotel to meet the family for the first time.  And as luck would have it, my arrival forced Alex to wake up from her nap.  I was off to a great start.

So now that we’ve established that I hardly know Ashley, her sister hates me, and we’re all together in the little town of Garmisch, Germany, lets fast-forward to Christmas Day.

Ashley, Alex and I spent all of Christmas Day skiing.  We got back to the hotel around 4:00pm.  Since we were exhausted and we didn’t have to meet for dinner until 7:15, we all decided to take naps.  Ashley set her alarm for 6:00.  She took the longest to get ready, so after she showered she was going to wake the two of us up.  Before she knew it, Ashley checked her watch and it was 7:00pm; Alex and I were still fast asleep.  Frantically Ashley woke us up.  We decided there was no avoiding showering, we couldn’t possibly show up to Christmas dinner covered in sleep and ski funk; we had to act fast. 

(Alex, me, Ashley...top O the mountain)

Our masterminds devised a plan.  Alex had three minutes to shower.  During those three minutes I was to get both our outfits laid out and get myself ready to jump in one side of the shower as she jumped out the other (the shower was one of those bathtub showers with two sliding doors, so it was perfect for creating an entrance and an exit).  With time running out, Ashley started yelling at me to get ready.  I quickly stripped down, anxiously awaiting my cue.

Alex started yelling, “GET READY! GET READY!”  Ashley was cheering us on, “GO! GO! GO!”, I joined the party, “I’M READY! LETS GO!”  With all the excitement and yelling I think I was a little too eager to jump.  When it was go time, I hopped in with my left foot.  Since I had just woken up 4 minutes prior I hadn’t yet put my contacts in, so I failed to notice that the back of the tub (right where I planted my left foot) was slanted.  So as I went to bring my right foot in…BAM!! The laws of physics took over and I slammed down on to the side of the tub…the side with the metal track for the door...right down the middle of me…bare a$$ naked!!  I frantically tried to lift myself up but the stupid tub was so wet and slippery that I just kept flopping around…straddling the bathtub…still naked.  Alex and Ashley just stood there perplexed…staring at my bare bum.

“Do we touch her??” Alex asked.  One hardly knew me, one hated me…which one should help?  Eventually I calmed down enough to figure out how to pick myself up and properly get in the shower.  At this point I’m pretty sure the girls still hadn’t moved.

“Are you okay??” 
Nothing game out of my mouth for the next hour except uncontrollable, embarrassed laughter.  Realizing I wasn’t really hurt, Ashley and Alex felt comfortable enough to laugh at me as well.

After that my relationship with the Webers changed forever.  To this day Ashley is one of my very best friends and Alex like my little sister.  We went from strangers to family in one quick instant.  We’ve even spent other Christmases together since then…but I kept my clothes on for those.