Getting Out With A Bang!!

Pretty consistently during my career at Cantina I worked double shifts on Sundays.  Sunday was actually my favorite day to work.  It was by far the most profitable…at least the way I did it.  The morning shift was hit or miss, and it was mine to manage.  The second shift manager usually came in at 4:30, but when I was doing doubles my second ‘cocktailing’ shift started at 3:00.  So for an hour and a half I was both the Manager on Duty and the only Cocktail server on duty.  This combination was very stressful and exhausting on those Sundays that were “hit”.

This particular Sunday was one of the stressful ones; after a busy morning in the dining room it was non-stop all night in the bar.  Once all patrons left, all tables were cleared and cleaned, and all monies were counted, I went down to the office to cash out with Darren.

I was so tired and brain-dead that I could barely carry on a conversation with him.  All I could think about was getting home and sleeping.  He said all my numbers matched and I was good to go.  So I said good night and went to leave out the back stairwell.  That is the way I exited Cantina about 90% of the time after my shift.  The door was a little warped and could stick sometimes, but by this point I was pretty familiar with most of the ‘quirks’ of Cantina.

So after I slunk up the stairs, I went to open the door but it was stuck.  I double checked to make sure it was unlocked and tried again.  Still nothing.  What the hell?!?!  I wasn’t going to let this door keep me from my bed so I threw my hip in to it.  Nothing.  Now I was getting mad.  So I started throwing my whole body in to the door trying to get it to budge.

BAM!  BAM! “What the hell is wrong with this stupid door?!?!”  BAM! BAM!

After a little while my hip was starting to get sore so I took a little break.  Darren all the while was just sitting in the office listening to the ridiculousness at the top of the stairs.  When the banging stopped he checked to see if I made it out.

“Caitlin?”

“Yeah?”

...silence...
...silence...

“...pull”

With just the slightest amount of effort, this time I was successful at PULLING the door open.  What a novel idea!

I couldn’t believe my stupidity.  I went back down to the office and laughed uncontrollably with Darren for a solid 5 minutes before catching my breath.  On my way home I was still so embarrassed and giggling so hard that multiple people thought I was crying and asked me if I was okay.  To which I should have responded (if I could’ve stopped laughing long enough to answer) “not in the head I’m not!” 

A Smashing Good Trick

On weekdays during my senior year of high school, bedtime was usually around 10:00pm.  One particular evening as the clock approached the 22nd hour, I found myself alone in my bedroom nowhere near ready to fall asleep.  Some people in this situation would read a book or watch TV to wind down.  Not me.  I used this extra energy to create an amazingly awesome trick.

For those of you that have never been to my childhood bedroom, it was very small.  I had a twin bed that was flush against the wall, bookshelves and a desk lining the other walls, and that’s about all that fit.

(This is not my actual bedroom. I couldn’t find a good picture to use but felt an image was necessary. I actually have no idea whose bedroom this is.)

The trick went as follows…

The bed was made.  I turned down the corner of the sheets that was closest to the wall.  I stepped back to the other side of the room (which was only about 6 feet).  Then I took a few quick steps.  Once I got right next to the bed I launched myself in to the air.  As I hovered above the bed I grabbed the turned down sheet corner and with cat-like speed I did a 180 turn; landing on my back, tucked in between the sheets.  Awesome.

I was so proud of myself for not only thinking up such a great trick but for also making it a reality.  And I was shockingly successful at sticking the landing.

After about 30 minutes of doing my trick over and over, my mom stopped by to say goodnight.

“Oh good!!  I was hoping you were coming up.  I have an awesome new trick to show you.  I’ve been practicing for like ever.  I’m really good at it now.”

Her mouth said, “A trick??” but her face said, “Oh great! What now?!?!”

Now that I had an audience my awesomeness was under a lot more pressure.  So when I ran, I ran a little harder.  When I launched myself in to the air, I launched a little harder.  And when I went to grab the sheets…BAM!!!

It took me a second to realize why I was lying on top of the sheets and not proudly tucked between them; that instead of doing a 180 I had just body slammed myself in to the wall.

With the exact same look on her face my mom simply said, “Neat trick Katie” and walked away. 

She eventually did come back to see if the noise she was hearing was sobbing or uncontrollable giggling.  It was the latter of the two.  I suspect she spent that night lying in bed thinking about how proud she was of her brilliant baby girl…either that or wondering where she went wrong!

Falling into a New Family

Thanksgiving and Christmas are my two favorite holidays.  I mean what’s not to love about Thanksgiving??  It’s a holiday that celebrates food, football, and family!  Christmas is a no-brainer; I love everything about that time of year.   The year I lived in Italy I didn’t come back to the states at all.  So the month from Turkey Day to Baby Jesus’ birthday I was pretty homesick.

During a break in class, a bunch of us were hanging out in the school cafeteria and I mentioned that I didn’t know how I was going to handle a Christmas without family OR snow.  Then out of nowhere one of the girls at the table, Ashley, said that her whole family was flying out to Germany for the holiday; I could tag along if I wanted to (very dangerous thing to say to me…I almost NEVER say no to an opportunity to travel!).  Ashley just offered me everything on my Xmas list…family and snow…of course I said yes!

It’s important to understand my relationship with Ashley at this point.  We had been going to school together for over three months but we hadn’t ever really hung out.  We had done a lot of group things together, but never connected just the two of us.  Which made it even nicer that she offered to include me in her family holiday…and even weirder that I accepted.

Upon hearing that I was joining the festivities, Ashley’s younger sister, Alex, was livid…and rightfully so.  She didn’t understand why Ashley was bringing some girl to Christmas; a girl that Ashley had never once mentioned in any of her stories.  Before I even arrived I was “the random girl who ruined their only time together all year”.  Oh and I should also mention that Ashley and I flew to Germany separately.  Of course she had major delays so I took a cab by myself to the hotel to meet the family for the first time.  And as luck would have it, my arrival forced Alex to wake up from her nap.  I was off to a great start.

So now that we’ve established that I hardly know Ashley, her sister hates me, and we’re all together in the little town of Garmisch, Germany, lets fast-forward to Christmas Day.

Ashley, Alex and I spent all of Christmas Day skiing.  We got back to the hotel around 4:00pm.  Since we were exhausted and we didn’t have to meet for dinner until 7:15, we all decided to take naps.  Ashley set her alarm for 6:00.  She took the longest to get ready, so after she showered she was going to wake the two of us up.  Before she knew it, Ashley checked her watch and it was 7:00pm; Alex and I were still fast asleep.  Frantically Ashley woke us up.  We decided there was no avoiding showering, we couldn’t possibly show up to Christmas dinner covered in sleep and ski funk; we had to act fast. 

(Alex, me, Ashley...top O the mountain)

Our masterminds devised a plan.  Alex had three minutes to shower.  During those three minutes I was to get both our outfits laid out and get myself ready to jump in one side of the shower as she jumped out the other (the shower was one of those bathtub showers with two sliding doors, so it was perfect for creating an entrance and an exit).  With time running out, Ashley started yelling at me to get ready.  I quickly stripped down, anxiously awaiting my cue.

Alex started yelling, “GET READY! GET READY!”  Ashley was cheering us on, “GO! GO! GO!”, I joined the party, “I’M READY! LETS GO!”  With all the excitement and yelling I think I was a little too eager to jump.  When it was go time, I hopped in with my left foot.  Since I had just woken up 4 minutes prior I hadn’t yet put my contacts in, so I failed to notice that the back of the tub (right where I planted my left foot) was slanted.  So as I went to bring my right foot in…BAM!! The laws of physics took over and I slammed down on to the side of the tub…the side with the metal track for the door...right down the middle of me…bare a$$ naked!!  I frantically tried to lift myself up but the stupid tub was so wet and slippery that I just kept flopping around…straddling the bathtub…still naked.  Alex and Ashley just stood there perplexed…staring at my bare bum.

“Do we touch her??” Alex asked.  One hardly knew me, one hated me…which one should help?  Eventually I calmed down enough to figure out how to pick myself up and properly get in the shower.  At this point I’m pretty sure the girls still hadn’t moved.

“Are you okay??” 
Nothing game out of my mouth for the next hour except uncontrollable, embarrassed laughter.  Realizing I wasn’t really hurt, Ashley and Alex felt comfortable enough to laugh at me as well.

After that my relationship with the Webers changed forever.  To this day Ashley is one of my very best friends and Alex like my little sister.  We went from strangers to family in one quick instant.  We’ve even spent other Christmases together since then…but I kept my clothes on for those.

Starting Off With A Bang

Choosing which story to begin with was very difficult for me, I have so many favorites.  So I took the advice of Jack McCoy (“When there’s no good place to start, start somewhere”) and I’m just starting somewhere.  And yes, I am referring to Jack McCoy from Law & Order. 

One summer in college I was shopping the Kittery Outlet stores in Maine with my stepsister Kalyn.  There must have been a lot of sales going on because we hit almost every one of the 120 stores; it was a long day.  Towards the end of the day we found ourselves at the Espirit outlet (which I believe has now gone out of business, Espirit is SO 8 years ago!)  I was at the point where I couldn’t spend another minute in a store, but Kalyn had found just a few more things she couldn’t live without.  So as she was waiting in the Christmastime-esque lines I waited at the front of the store with all the husbands and boyfriends who were feeling my pain.  Waiting is something I loathe, so as I stood there (none of the guys sitting on the benches offered me their seats…thank you chivalry) I looked around trying to find something to occupy my time.  And that’s when I saw it…right in the exit doorway, a 2-ft high stack of metal basket, just asking to be leapt over.

(not actual Espirit baskets)

Before showcasing my Knievel-like skills I wanted to make sure I had an audience, I mean who am I to deprive anyone of such a spectacle of extreme athleticism?!?  So across the many check out aisles and waiting boyfriends/husbands I screamed, “KALYN!! KALYN!! WATCH THIS!!”  The look on her face was the same confused yet curious look I was getting from all my onlookers, although I sensed a little embarrassment as well.  Now that I had my audience, I was ready.  I turned towards the doorway and took off.  After a few quick steps I leapt into the air, proudly soaring above the baskets.

And that’s when it happened.  All at once.  I heard a loud bang, felt a shooting pain in my right knee, heard gasps, heard laughter.  It took me a few seconds to figure out how I ended up IN the baskets and not triumphantly standing BESIDE them.  Apparently while planning this brilliant feat I failed to notice the baskets weren’t in fact in the doorway, but neatly stacked in front of a glass wall!  (What are the chances?!?)

I quickly untangled myself from the baskets and ran outside where I waited for Kalyn alone, laughing hysterically.  I never went back in to at least let people know I was ok or take a bow, but Kalyn and I did end up back at Espirit a few weeks later to return one of her purchases.  And wouldn’t you know, someone had added a bunch of black stickers to that glass wall.  I bet those stickers prevented many people from an embarrassing encounter with that glass.  So to all those people I say, “You’re Welcome!”